Day 23 - What life has taught me.

While I've totally let this 'blog every day in May' challenge go out the window but I'm back for day 23...

Things I've learned that school won't teach me.

Where should I start. I could probably go on for days and days...

I'll highlight the more important few today.

~ Love yourself. When you have no one to turn to, you should be able to turn inside and feel comforted, feel confident with the person you are.

~ Don’t be so hard on yourself, we all make mistakes, fail, fall and get back up time and time again.

That's part of living life and the beauty in tomorrow’s.

~ You’re a good Mom. Regardless of the bad day, the yelling, the time-outs, poor manners, frustrations, you're still a good Mom. That love you feel inside for your child is like nothing else in the world.

It's surreal.

~ You can do hard things. Challenge yourself Laura, really. Push yourself to be great, to go outside of your comfort zone, to try new things. Just do it.

~ It's ok to not have the last word in an argument. It's ok to be the one to walk away and bow out of a fight. You’re actually the stronger person when you’re the one to swallow your pride and apologize first. Pride is ugly.

ps - next week I have a guest post planned by a really great friend of mine discussing a very real and raw topic about motherhood. You don’t want to miss her story.

Day 9: A moment in my day.

Finally the warmer weather is here.  The sun is shining and the days are longer.  This has to be my favorite time of year.

My sweet Olivia and I have developed quite a fun little tradition - nightly Popsicle's on our front bench.  Every night after dinner we clear the table and it never fails, she heads right to the freezer and asks for a 'pa-zikle'. 

I scoop her up and let her choose her color, most of the time it's red!  Once we get to the front bench she scoots up next to me as I open her little snack.  We talk about our day and sometimes she holds my hand.  

When she's done, typically she surprises me by picking some flowers and finding some rocks and she loves when I get so excited about my presents!

I cherish these moments.

Day 8: Pieces of advice.

Live like there's no tomorrow. Laugh a lot. Pray. Chores can wait. Be silly with your kids. Tell your family and friends how much they mean to you. Hug often. Work hard, play harder. Make memories. Paint your nails and toes. Take risks, small ones. Find a best friend and keep them close. Fall in love and stay in love. Try your best. Allow yourself and others grace. Enjoy the small things. Find a hobby your love. Be yourself.    

Day 7 - My biggest FEAR.

I can already tell, this is going to be a tough one for me to write.  Something about feeling it and then putting this down, pen to paper, is a lot to take in.    Today's prompt - my biggest fear.    My biggest fear.   As a mother I have so many worries, fears and concerns but this is supposed to just be about the biggest one, so here goes.  

  My biggest fear is dying.    Now, I dont mean dying after living a long fulfilled life at the ripe old age of 99, I mean dying young.  Leaving my husband without a wife and even more importantly my daughter without a mother.    Just typing that makes me tear up.  Thinking about my daughter having to go through this life, in such a scary place without security and love from me, her mother, makes my stomach turn.    I just can't let my mind go there for very long.    I can't imagine someone else taking my place.  I can't imagine my husband marrying someone else.  I can't imagine not being the one to teach my daughter all the important life lessons.  Teaching her how to be a good girl, a respectable woman, a Godly woman.    Teaching her about love, life, faith.   I can't imagine missing her first day of school, the father/daughter dances, seeing her off on her first date, helping her choose a wedding dress, just being there for everything.   I can't imagine missing out on the late night talks about life where I share with her about me and my life, my experiences, my mistakes.  I can't imagine her learning about me from someone else - as just a memory.   No one would ever do as good of a job raising her, teaching her, loving her as I will.   I can't imagine the sense of loss she would feel if I weren't around.  

I can't imagine missing all the good stuff that's to come.  I even can't imagine missing the bad stuff.      

Day 6: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, "what do you do?"

I Mom.

  The greatest gift and "job" all rolled into one.  I've been so blessed to become a mother and it's my number 1 priority day in and day out.  Since Olivia was born our lives have changed.  I parent constantly.  Teaching her about the world, manners, love, Jesus, everything. There's no down time.  Every single decision I make revolves around Olivia and her best interest.     

  Since becoming a mother, the world has become both a more beautiful and scarier place.  I see things new through the eyes of a child.  The wonder and excitement she exudes at the simple pleasures that we tend to take for granted - a singing bird, a train going by, an airplane taking off, bugs, singing "super higher"... the list goes on and on.  

    On the contrary, the tragedy and evil in the world seems to weigh so heavily on my shoulders.  Mama Bear has to protect her child.  The desire to keep her close at all times but give her independence and teach her who to trust.  The fear of having to slowly let go and let her be exposed to this world.  It's all so overwhelming.   So, what do I do?  I Mom.  I take care of the greatest gift God has ever given me.  I provide, teach, play with, love, love, love, discipline, pray for, pray with and raise my baby girl.  

Day 4: Favorite quote and why you love it

Today's topic - easy peasy.  This verse - where do I start?  What don't I love about it. Since accepting the Lord last year this is one verse that has really stood out to me in every single aspect of my life.    "She is clothed in strength and dignity..."   As a woman of God, a wife and a mother I always pray that God gives me the strength to be dignified and strong in all situations.  I pray to not falter.  I want my husband and daughter to see me as a strong Godly woman who always held herself in the highest regard even during difficult situations.    "...and laughs without fear of the future."  I spent so much time before worrying about what would, could or might happen.  Doing that never left much time to enjoy.  My focus was on the what if's.    Well, knowing Jesus now I know that He's got it.  He is in control and my worrying isn't doing any one any good.    Now, don't get me wrong.    Do I still worry?  Yes Do I still dwell on things sometimes? Yes Do things still bother me?  Yes   ...but ultimately, He is in control. 
 

Day 2 - Educate on something you know a lot about.

Today's prompt - Educate us on something you know a lot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic).

This one threw me for a loop.  Hmm, there's a lot of things I know a little bit about but for some reason why couldn't pinpoint something I know a lot about.  I really don't give myself much credit I guess.

One thing, er, person I know a lot about is myself.  Over this past year alone I've learned more about me than ever before and I'm pretty sure it has to do with the Big Guy upstairs.  He makes me think. 

So, here's my list of things I know about me. 

Quirks, likes, dislikes, frustrations - you name it.

~ I'm terrible at saying "I'm sorry".  My husband can attest to that.  I'm working on it.

~ I'm a good mom.  I try my very best all the time.  Nowhere near perfect, but definitely good.

~ I'm great at making excuses for myself.

~ I could be a better wife.  My husband is awesome and we definitely are still learning how to do this marriage thing 3 years in so being a better wife is always something I'll strive towards.

~ I'm a good friend.  I love my friends so much and always try to be there for them.

~ I'm a good cook.  I make a mean lasagna, chicken and baked fish.

~ The sun shining makes me happy.  Automatic mood enhancer.

~ Praying makes me humbled.

~ Hearing my daughter pray makes me cry.

~ I drive too fast sometimes.  I've gotten better though.

~ I look best with dark hair.  I've tried to go lighter with highlights many times and it never, ever works.

~ I don’t do bangs well.  Also not a good hair idea.

~ I have big feet and I hate them.

~ I'm trying to be better about taking pictures and learning how to use my Nikon.

~ I have to wear mascara every day, specifically 2 kinds.  It gets the best results.

~ I feel prettiest when I wear black.

~ I always have and always will struggle with my weight.

~ Poor grammar makes me cringe.

~ I'll always consider myself "in progress".

~ I love my family more than anything.

~ I'm a proud child of God.

So - there you have it.  A bunch of tid-bits on information about myself.  Growing up and getting wiser to me means really taking the time to learn more about yourself.  This past year has definitely been a huge learning experience for me.  I've dug deep and remained thoughtful.  If you have any questions feel free to ask, I love sharing about myself. 

Now go link up!