I hope you all read this post that Stacy wrote discussing her struggle with postpartum depression. Here's a quick follow up to show how just a normal morning routine gone wrong can bring back the fears of PPD again. She's such an amazing mother and I truly admire her courage to share her story.
Stacy, thank you. I'm honored to be your friend, that our girls are friends and that you're strong enough to share your story.
Stacy's Story - 6 months later, a follow up.
Monday morning. It’s raining. Penelope already knows she will not be able to go outside at school and is not happy. Leo spit up all over Froggy (his lovey toy that he cannot sleep without), which I have to wash in the sink cause we don't have a washer and dryer. Bill is switching jobs (again! Poor guy just can’t catch a break), and I had a headache all night resulting in a very fitful sleep. Needless to say it is not shaping up to be a great day.
I get through half a cup of coffee before realizing I left my phone at the dance studio yesterday. So let’s get everyone dressed, nobody matches and Penelope’s pigtails are crooked, throw the rest of Penelope’s cereal in a baggy, grab a soggy Froggy, and away we go.
Quick stop at the Laundromat to throw Froggy in a dryer. I pull up in front. In the fire lane and leave the kids in the car. I am in and out in under a minute, but still-really, Stacy? Then it’s across the street to the dance studio. Throw up a quick thanks to the Lord above I have a key and that everything in our lives is in close to home. Grab my phone and print a new food stamps application since I didn’t complete our recertification in time and I have to apply all over again. Leo is on a mat on the floor, but of course he rolls off and is screaming because he hates being on his stomach. One would think this would be incentive to figure out how to roll back, but he seems to prefer screaming. Penelope meanwhile tells me she is pooping. I have no diapers. We are heading to daycare where they have everything, so I don't usually carry a diaper bag in the mornings. Oh, and now the computer is frozen.
Coats back on (did I mention it’s raining?) back into the car, poopy diaper and all, back across the street to grab Froggy out of the dryer. Penelope doesn’t want to get in the car. I scream at her to just get in and sit down (as if she can put herself in her car seat). Leo is still screaming, guess he was hungry. Well, I don’t have a bottle either. No diaper bag remember? Somehow we all get to our destinations-daycare for them, work for me.
I get to work feeling awful and I tell a friend about my morning. She asks, did you follow your PPD rules? I say yes, but 6 months later I should be able to have a better morning than just following my PPD rules. She says two things-first, 6 months is not a long time, and second if you follow the rules it is a good day, remember? She's right. I am, once again, too hard on myself. Not a great morning, but a good morning. And that will have to do.