Profession - Part 2

Check here for my post yesterday about the journey that got us to this awesome day.  Our baptism day!

My emotions were running high all morning.  I was nervous, excited, anxious, grateful, humbled...but most importantly, I felt blessed.  Blessed to be here, in this spot, receiving this beautiful gift with my husband.  Being baptized together as a couple in front of our church family.

The morning flew by, getting everyone up, dressed and out the door for church didn’t leave much time to dwell on what was coming.  We went to breakfast as a family and prayed together for our approaching baptism.  As we sat in Sunday school my mind kept drifting off thinking about what was coming.  How it would go, how everything would play out.  All the details. 

After the 15 minute "almost time for service to start" bell rang it was all I could think about.  The amazing women in our Sunday school class all shared encouraging words as I grabbed my bag to leave which completely put me at ease.  Joe and I went to the baptistry and into our respective rooms to get ready.  This is when my emotions really took over!  Being away from Joe I was wondering what he was feeling and just wished I'd kissed him before we separated to get ready.  I put in my robe and waited while listening to the choir praise Jesus with their beautiful songs.  Joyce was in the baptistry with me helping me through the steps to ensure everything was seamless.  She talked with me the entire time to help keep my nerves at bay. 

When it was time for us, we walked out and I had a moment of tears.  Tears were shed for so many different reasons.  For the people who weren’t there, who didn’t come to support us.  Tears for our amazing friends who did come, tears for the people who helped us on our journey, tears for the amazing sacrifice Jesus made for me, tears for the future, for being blessed and able to raise Olivia to know Jesus.  Joyce and Jacquie saw me emotional and immediately prayed with me.  Their beautiful words lifted me up to the Lord and as quickly as the tears started, they stopped.  A peace came over me and I was calm. 

Our pastor spoke and I watched my love, my husband get baptized and then it was my turn. I walked into the baptistry water (of course I almost slipped going down the wet stairs)and pastor Glen shared a bit of our testimony to our church family.  While he was speaking I was surrounded by so many people who have helped me along in this journey.  In front of my stood Jacquie, Joyce and Amanda, behind me Pastor Glen and my husband, across the balcony was Renata and on the main floor Sarah and Ken.  All of which have encouraged, loved and prayed for us!  God certainly put these people in our lives for a reason.   

Then, as my husband stood to my pastors right hand side, I was baptized!

I am so happy, humbled and proud of my husband and myself for making this decision for our family, for Olivia and for our future.

After church service we were approached by so many people with hugs and congratulations!

The day was perfect and the love of Jesus was most certainly present and pulsing inside the walls of our church!

Profession

It's difficult for me to even put into words the experience I shared with my husband this past Sunday, January 20, 2013.  Together we outwardly shared an already inward change with our church family.  Together we took one important step in being obedient to the Lord and doing the right thing for our family.  Together.  That was the best part.  We did this together. 

Not even a full year ago my husband and I visited this church on a whim.  Church shopping was what we called it.  Little did I know what the Lord was going to do to our hearts.  Through this church we have met some of the most amazing Godly people who have embraced us and have truly had a hand in changing our family. 

That very first day as we sat through the service, moved to tears by the music, we filled out a visitors card, left the church and decided we'd be back to try it again.  We loved the music and the message but at that point we didn’t know what our future held, the plans God had already laid for us.  We had no idea how our lives were about to be changed.  From the visitor card I received a phone call asking me how we liked the service, if we'd be back?  At that time, I wasn’t ready to commit to anything.  I constantly procrastinated and made up excuses why I couldn’t talk or wasn’t interested or ready.  Jacquie didn’t give up.  She kept calling and kept trying to get through to me.  As the phone rang one day while I was in the car I saw it was the church number again and I was ready, so ready to tell her to please "just leave me alone". 

I answered and in an instant my heart changed.  We talked for 2 hours about life, family, faith, my past, my husband, my daughter, everything.  I made a commitment to meet with her the following Wednesday so she could answer my questions and questions I certainly had.  I made a list, a long list and that Wednesday she answered every single one.  That Wednesday I was saved.  I accepted Jesus into my heart, I confessed that I was a sinner and could only be saved by accepting that Jesus died on the cross for me and my sins. 

That Wednesday, July 11, 2012 was the start of this beautiful transformation in our lives.   

We began a discipleship program to learn about Christianity and so I could be re-taught things that I'd learned incorrectly before.  Then, in September, my husband was saved.  He started discipleship with one of the pastors and we began this journey together.  We learned and grew as husband and wife, as parents, as Christians.  We made changes to our lives to remove the sinful and learned how to live a more Christ-like life.  We made mistakes and still leaned toward sin but we prayed to do better and confessed our sins to Jesus.  We made conscious decisions to try harder to be better for Him, our family and ourselves. 

This Sunday was the culmination of all those changes, prayers and discipleship lessons.  This Sunday we finally made the outward profession of our inward change.  We were baptized! 

I have so many details I want to share about our experience.  Check back tomorrow for the rest!

An outward expression.....

...of an inward change.    Turns out I am ready - well, we're ready to take the plunge (pun intended!) and get baptized!  I've discussed my new found faith - not sure how much longer I can call it new - a few times before on here but most recently the idea of baptism was presented to my husband and I and for some reason I was totally nervous, shell shocked, not ready.  (If you want to read more about that, go here.)   ...or so I thought.   It's funny how God works on your heart when you pray to Him about your concerns or fears.  It had been about 2 months that I was concerned about making this decision.  I had reservations deciding if this was the right thing for me and my family.  I was worried that my family who wasn't following the same path would be mad that I'd changed religions and left the Catholic church.  I was worried that I didn't know enough, wasn't a good enough Christian and wasn't seasoned enough in the faith to do this.   What I didn't take the time to think about is that I'd already made a change.  I was a different person before going to church and being saved than I am today and there's only one explanation for that and it's Jesus.  I live my life a totally different way than before.  I live to please the Lord.  I live to honor Him and show the world His light.  I'm different.    Something that really struck a cord with me and made it click was when one of the pastors at my church said "Baptism is an outward expression of an inward change."  Boom - got it.  The change was already done.  I've been changed since July 11, 2012 and now I get to outwardly express this change in front of my church family this coming Sunday!  My husband and I will be baptized this Sunday January 20, 2013 and I'm so, so honored, humbled and excited!   Please pray for us as we take this awesome step in our faith journey.   "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen."  Matthew 28 :: 19-20  

2013 Goals

This is the first year I've really put a lot of thought into the goals I'd like to achieve.  Maybe it has something to do with my upcoming birthday and turning the big 3 0 this year or maybe it's maturity or maybe is that I've realized that my life is so much more than just about me.  Maybe it's because I want to glorify God in all that I do.  Maybe it's because I now realize that I'm here on this earth for so much more of a purpose than I can even imagine for myself.     This year I've put together a list of goals I'm going to work hard to accomplish in 2013.  Some are definitely more important than others but all have meaning and will help me feel like I'm on my way to becoming the best me I can be.    My Goals for 2013:   ~ Lose weight and start on the road to a healthier Me - I've discussed this here and here.  I've made it through the first week of eating healthy and really focusing on this aspect of my life and I'd consider it a success so far.  I'll post an update soon.   ~ Read 12 books - I really enjoy reading.  I tend to get lost in books and fall in love with the characters.  This is just a goal I've set for myself because I tend to let other things get in the way of my time with the Kindle!  I've already started the first book of the year and I have a couple others lined up.  Any suggestions?   ~ Pray more and deepen my relationship with Jesus - 2012 was the year I found Jesus and started my relationship with Him.  I've always believed in God but this whole relationship with Him and living my life to glorify Him is new.  I want to explore it more, learn to trust Him more, pray more and live and love like Him more.  2013 is the year to jump into my new found faith and see what He has in store for me.   ~ Participate in Secret Prayer Sisters - at my church our Sunday School group created secret prayer sisters.  You're given a name of another woman in our group and you pray for them, surprise them with little presents throughout the year and in turn they do the same for someone else.  It gives you a chance to give a receive prayer and thoughtful gifts.  Since I'm fairly new to the church I'm looking forward to this to help build relationships with some of the awesome woman that attend my church.   ~ Go on at least 5 dates with my husband - like I mentioned before my husband and I don't go on too many dates.  We hadn't been out together alone in quite some time and I know that to ensure a strong marriage and be the best parents to Olivia we need to make sure that our relationship remains a priority.  Now that I have a reliable babysitter we're on the right path to ensure at least 5 dates during 2013!   ~ Attend a worship concert - the music at church and listening to Christian music really helps me understand God and His goodness.  I love the fellowship that a worship concert seems to have and the idea of worshiping Jesus through song with other believers seems so special.   ~ Be baptized! - I've also talked about this before and my hesitation when it comes to this part of my faith journey but I'm proud to say that I've resolved this within myself and will be baptized soon!   ~ Begin paying down debt - because of irresponsible choices as a young adult my husband and I have a bit of debt we have acquired over the years.  Getting credit cards when you're young, single and don't have a family and other important responsibilities tends to make it difficult to keep up with all the payments when you have other more important bills.  We're currently on the right track and so far we've been blessed by God and have already been able to pay 17 accounts down to a ZERO BALANCE!  I can't even express the amount of joy I feel typing that sentence!  God truly knows the desires of my heart and has answered my prayers and made a path for us to achieve this goal.  The things we've paid include medical bills, credit card bills, money owed to my parents and taxes.  A huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders and starting out the year on the right financial foot feels awesome!    

Baptism & Hesitation

I've talked about my faith before in bits and pieces.  It's something that still new to me.  I wonder if I'll always feel this way or if I'll ever feel comfortable with the amount of stuff I know, my relationship with Jesus and my actions, sins and prayers.  I don’t know.  Every day I struggle with little things, doubts and questions.  It's because I'm still learning, but partially because I'm a thinker. 
I over think and over-analyze everything.

I was saved on July 11, 2012 and I am firm in my beliefs.  I believe that Jesus is my savior and he was born, lived and died for all of our sins.  There's no question in my mind about this. 

My hesitation comes in when I think about taking the next steps, baptism.  I was supposed to be baptized in November with my husband but I asked for it to be postponed.  I was baptized as an infant in a Catholic church, but Christians don’t believe that this 'counts' since it wasn’t something I chose to do.  With baptism comes church membership and while I love our church I have this funny hesitant feeling about taking this step.  I think that part of my worry is that my family doesn’t believe in or really support what we're doing.  They are non-practicing Catholics and have no interest in coming to church with us or even going to their own church.  This makes me feel bad because the way I grew up, in a Catholic baptism it's a celebration.  The baby is baptized and there's a family gathering afterwards and it seems strange to me to go to church, get baptized and then go home as if nothing happened.  Not that I need to have a party or anything but some acknowledgement would be nice. 

Maybe I'm a little bitter because I don’t have their support?

Maybe a piece of me feels like it's disrespectful to my family that I'm choosing a different religious path?  Even though I know that this is the right thing for me, my husband and Olivia, it's been made clear that since they were "born Catholic, they'll die Catholic" and part of me feels like they expect the same from me. 

I've been praying about it, but I'm not quite there yet. 
Have any of you had the same hesitation?  What did you end up doing about it?

Pray for me to gain clarity in this area.

(Please know that regardless of my family's lack of interest in my faith I still love them deeply and don't judge their decisions about their faith.  I guess everyone has to do what feels right to them.  I just don't want this to come off as me soudning like I think I'm better than them etc.)