Linking up with Erin and Alex today for Weigh in Wednesday. I actually did not weigh myself this week because I messed up. I need some time to recoup and get my mind back in a good place regarding this journey.
It's so easy, so very easy, for bad habits to come creeping back in without even realizing it. This past week/weekend were hard.
We were slammed with a blizzard and in preparation of being snowed in we did some grocery shopping. I made the big, huge, gigantic mistake of 'picking up a small box of chocolates'. You know the heart shaped boxes for Valentine’s day? Yea, those. Well, in my mind I totally justified it saying that I'd only eat one and it was no big deal, they weren't for me - they're for everyone else, I don't even WANT them. Who did I think I was fooling? Guess where those chocolates are? That's right, they're gone. All gone. Because I have zero self control.
I will let this be a very big lesson. I am not ready to have 'just one' of anything. It’s just not in me. I'm not ready to allow myself to cheat. I haven't earned that right yet. I will not let food win. I will not go back to where I was on December 31, 2012... Even though its only a measly 14 lbs heavier I will not go back there.
And even as I typed that I haven't earned it - why the hell would I want to earn a food reward? This thinking makes no sense. Why does food have control over me like this?
I wish I had an answer to that.