Getting Personal (Answering The Tough Questions)

Today I'm touching on some deep questions and linking up with Erin from Living in Yellow. (http://www.livinginyellow.com/2013/04/getting-personal-answering-tough.html).   One thing I need to work on personally is getting to know myself better.  For me it's easy to just go about the day to day activities and not really dig deep because as a mother others always tend to take precedense.  So today, I'm answering 10 questions that Erin posted and I'm focusing on me.   1. If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would it be? I would have pursued a career in college and stuck with it.  I went to a local 2 year school but then fell into a good job and dropped out of college.  Granted I'm still with the same company and make a decent salary but I wish I'd pursued a passion and got into a field that I love.   2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Living in Florida.  We have a 5 year plan and the ball is already rolling.  Olivia will be 7 years old and I'd love to have another child by then.  I'll most likely still be working.  I pray that my faith grows and I am still active in church.  We'll see what God has in store.   3. Do you honestly want kids? Of course.  I never saw my life without them.  Olivia is honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me.  My days are brighter because of her.  I hope to have another child someday too.   4. What has been the best moment of your life so far? By far - giving birth.  Those moments of anticipation right before your baby is born and the first time you get to meet them and hold them outside of your body, it's all just so surreal and amazing and emotional.

  5. What is your life theme song? This is a tough one for me.  I'm not really sure what my life theme song would be since my life is constantly changing but my "life right now" theme song would be Come to the River by The Rhett Walker Band.  It's a Christian band and the song is just so moving.  It's so applicable to my life right now.  Being a fairly new Christian I'm still learning how to rely on God and not myself.  This song talks about going to God all the time, for everything instead of trying to make your own way.  It's really a life lesson that I need to work on.  It also helps that Olivia loves this song and jams out when we have it on in the car!   6. What is one thing you have yet to accomplish that you want to do before you die? Lose weight and keep it off.  My lifelong struggle so far has been my weight and although I'm working on it right now it's still an everyday battle.  I've learned that it will always be an everyday battle for me, it's just my cross to bear.  I want to be successful.  I want to not give up when I have a bad week.  I want to be healthy and be around for my family for a long, long time.   7. If you could choose one thing to be known for, what would it be? I want my legacy to be that I was a great mother.  I love my family more than anything in this entire world and I always want them to know that.  I pray every day for God to guide me down this journey of motherhood.  It's the most important "job" I'll ever have.  Olivia's well being is my top priority.

  8. If you could do anything you wanted right in this very moment (no consequences, no fear, etc) what would it be? As long as this came with an unending amount of money, I'd probably pack up my family and our most important belongings and move somewhere beautiful.  Somewhere that I could relax and raise my daughter without fear of the real world hurting her.  Keep us all safe and make our own little world away from the world.   9. What has been the most challenging moment of your life? When my Grandmother died.  It was just awful.  I miss her all the time and think about her every day.  I remember every moment like it just happened yesterday.   10. Summarize yourself in one word? This is a tough one for me since I wear so many hats.  I'd have to say "growing".  I'm constantly growing in different areas of my life.  I'm growing in my faith, parenting, learning about myself...and the list goes on and on.    

An epiphany.

{Written 3/19/13}

I posted this picture on Instagram the other day because I had a moment. You know what I mean by a moment? An epiphany. When a lightbulb goes off?

My normal nighttime routine has been the same for as long as I can remember, give Olivia a bath, put her to bed, make my lunch for work the next day, finish leftover chores, grab a snack and a drink and watch a show on the DVR, then bed.

Not much has changed with my routine, but what has changed is what snack and drink I grab. In the past it would be any of the following - chips, fritos, chocolate, ice cream - you know, the taste good, bad for you stuff? That. Oh - and a soda.

Now? Now my snack is different. Now I grab fruit salad (my latest obsession - zero points!!) or an apple or a banana, something healthy. And my water - my 25 oz water bottle to be exact.

So, the epiphany? I've always watched The Biggest Loser which in turn leads me to eating while watching a weight loss show. But, in the past I'd be sitting there eating crap and drinking soda and wondering to myself 'why are they successful and I'm not?' all while having this internal pity party.

This past Monday as I was eating my fruit salad and drinking water it just made me feel so good, so proud of myself for finally, finally making a healthy choice for myself. And for the first time there was no internal pity party. Nope. For the first time I had a feeling of 'I got this' 'I'm doing this' 'I'm making progress!' And I felt good.

Finish This Sentence

Once again I'm linking up with Holly and Jake for "Finish This Sentence".

1. I laughed so hard I cried when... I ran over my husband’s foot with my car.  We were still dating at the time and I was joking around and trying to drive away as he got into the car, yeah, big mistake.  I guess I drove away a bit too fast and he moved a bit too slow and his foot got stuck under my rear tire.  It wasn’t broken, thank God, but my laughter was out of sheer panic and laughing at the most inappropriate time of course leads to more laughter which then led to tears because I thought I'd hurt him.

2. My high school... was a 5 year plan.  I failed my junior year.  It sucked big time, I was so upset with myself for messing up and having to stay back but in the end, everything fell into place and I'm glad it happened.

3. It really pisses me off... when I get frustrated with Olivia.  I always step back and think about people who are missing their children or who have lost loved ones and here I am frustrated with my beautiful angel of a daughter.  I always feel disappointed in myself afterwards and apologize.

4. In ten years... I'll be living in Florida, my daughter will be 12 (say what?!?) and I'll hopefully have another child in tow!

5. If I could erase one thing... it would be the hurt I caused to my husband the year before we got married.  We went through a really rough patch which was all my fault.

6. In 1999... I was a junior in high school (the first time) and I'd just gotten my license.  I drove a red 1986 Camaro and thought I was the coolest thing in our whole town.  Driving up and down Mineral Spring Avenue after school with friends was the best part of my day!

7. Honestly... I'm at a place in my faith right now where I can rest knowing that with all the bad in this world and all the devastation, this is not my forever home.  Take this world and give me Jesus.

8. To me, Sushi... is disgusting.  The first time I tried it I was newly pregnant and at a work function.  I had to excuse myself to puke.

9. Someone really needs to invent... what isn’t already invented?  Technology is so amazing.  In my own vanity it would be nice to have a magic make-up machine to make getting ready easier and faster.

10. The first time I drank alcohol... well see, I'm the youngest of my cousins on both sides of my family so I'm sure at some point one of them slipped me something to drink.  The last time I drank is much more interesting.  I was home alone with Olivia, she was about 9 or 10 months old and I'd just put her to bed.  She was sound asleep so I figured a long day deserved a nice glass or two of wine.  Those 2 glasses went down nice and easy and quick and then what do I hear?  Crying over the baby monitor. 

11. The one question I would ask God is... why is there all this hurt in the world?  Why do bad things happen?  Why do children get sick?  That was more than one right?  oops.  Part of me knows the answers to these questions, or at least the rational I've used and learned to make myself understand His ways but it would still be nice to ask the Big Guys upstairs.  I'd also ask him how my Grandmother is doing.  I miss her.

12. Lindsay Lohan... needs to grow up.  It's not cute honey.

 

Weigh in Wednesday & SWW

It's been a while since I've update my little ol' blog here regarding my weight loss so I figured I'd link up with Erin and Alex to share!

I joined weight watchers 4 weeks ago and I'm very pleased with my progress this far.

Week 1 - lost 4.2 lbs
Week 2 - lost 3.4 lbs
Week 3 - lost 6.4 lbs
Week 4 - lost 2.8 lbs

These past 4 weeks and including all weight loss since January 1 I've lost a total of 29.6 lbs!

When I had originally started this journey I gave myself a measly goal to lose 30 lbs by my 30th birthday which is in August. I really doubted myself, I didn't think I could do it and I didn't think I'd stick with it but I'm proud to say that just a little over 3 months in and I'm thisclose to my first goal!

....and now for my weekly So What's!

So what if Olivia has been having way too many temper tantrums. I hate it and I'm really struggling to figure out how to stop/prevent them.

So what if I lingered in Olivia's room a bit longer than usual after she fell asleep last night. We had a rough day and I was sad about how she's been acting. Seeing her peaceful little face sound asleep have me a glimpse back to the normal sweet natured Olivia that I'm missing.

So what if we bought a zoo pass for the summer --- and have used it 3 times already this week alone! Well worth the $85 investment.

So what if I'm going to miss my husband this weekend. He's going to a men's conference for church and will be away for 2 days.

So what if I'm worried I didn't lose any weight this week. PMS and weight watchers don't mix.

That's all I've got today - head over to Erin and Alex's blog to link up for Weigh in Wednesday

http://www.shesabigstar.com/

http://skinnyjeanpilgrimage.blogspot.com/

...and check out Shannon's blog for So What Wednesday!

http://www.lifeafteridew.com/

Finish this Sentence - Part 2

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Linking up with Holly and Jake for round 2 of Finish this Sentence.

1. If calories didn't count, I would eat... Fritos and Doritos - these 2 are my favorite snacks and even though I don’t really miss them, I do remember how much I like them!  Since I'm on Weight Watchers those million point snacks aren’t on my menu anytime soon.

2. On my Prom night.... I was stood up.  Yup, it's true.  Last minute my date canceled.  It's ok, he was a dud anyways.  I called my best friend (who didn’t go to the same school) told her to grab her old dress and come over because "we were going to prom together!"  She did just that and we had an awesome time.

3. When I go to the store, I always buy... something for my daughter.  It's usually a little something from the dollar section of Target so it's not too expensive.

4. Family functions typically... HA.  If it's just my family, they stay small.  I'm an only child and a lot of my immediate family live about an hour away so we usually stay home.  If my husband’s family joins then it gets a bit chaotic.  Ad 2 more kids to the mix the volume just increases tenfold.  There's usually tears from my MIL and not good ones and someone always ends up mad at the end.  Ya know, typical functional dysfunction.

5. I think my blog readers... are awesome!  I love when I can connect when people comment.  I always email back and converse.  That's one of the reasons I love blogging so much.

6. I'd much rather be... on vacation.  My family and I love to go away.  Whether it's to New Hampshire or Maine or someplace new, we just love exploring and seeing new places.

7. I have an obsession with.... Jesus.  I'm still in the learning phase of my Christianity and learning about Him, His life, His love and the bible is just amazing to me.

8. My work friends.... are new.  I'm switching positions as we speak and I haven’t really established friendships with anyone yet.  My schedule is kind of wonky because of mine and my husband’s opposite shifts so I'm usually not in the office when my team is.

9. When I created my Facebook account.... I had no idea how addicting it would be.... and how much like high school it could be.

10. My least favorite word is... divorce.  It's something I fear since the statistics are so high but my husband and I take our marriage vows seriously and do everything and anything in our power to stay in love.

11. I really don't remember.... a lot of my childhood. I remember big events but I think that's just from seeing pictures and I don't have a lot of my own memories.  It's weird because life was pretty normal so I dont understand why.

12. Justin Bieber.... is ok.

Head over to Holly or Jake's blog to link up!

Little NSV Changes

When I started this weight loss journey I knew for a fact that I needed to start making healthier food choices. I also knew that working out would become part of my new routine but right now I am focusing on taking one step at a time. Since January I've lost 18 lbs. I've also started doing little things here and there to help incorporate more moving into my life.

Taking the stairs - I was an elevator girl. The stairs at work are literally right next to the elevator but I'd bypass them every morning and push the up arrow instead. I probably could have made it upstairs and to my office before the elevator even opened since it’s so old and slow but I chose to be lazy. Now, I take the stairs every day. Sometimes I even go up, back down and up again to get a few more steps in. Silly, but it's movement.

Jumping Rope - does anyone remember how easy it used to be to jump rope? Well, it’s not that easy anymore! I bought one the other day at Target for $5.99. I figured it wouldn't require me to leave the house and I could go in the garage and jump after Olivia's in bed every night. It's way harder than I thought it would be. Y first attempt I struggled to jump 10 consecutive times so I kept starting over. When I finally did it I exclaimed 'yeah!!' and put the jump rope down - finally!

Jumping jacks - also something that used to be easy and now I'm sure I look like a fool, but again, it's movement. I never want to do them in front of a mirror though! In my office at work I’ll get up randomly throughout the day and do 10-20 jumping jacks, sit back down and start working again. Let’s hope no one walks in my office without knocking and sees me acting crazy!

Running in place - this is also something I do in my office or at home. Just run in place while counting to 50. Easy enough.

At the beginning of my journey I joined a gym and while they have awesome hours - open 24 hrs - the only time I can go is before work which for me is 3:00 am. That means waking up at 2:50, driving there, work out till 4:00, shower, get ready and make it to work for 5:00. Times when I actually did this I was so exhausted from losing sleep that I could hardly function. For now, these little changes I've incorporated are going to have to do until we have nicer weather and can exercise outside.

Head over to KTJ's blog and link up to share your NSV!

So What! Wednesday

First and foremost - I'm jumping on the bandwagon to tell you all to follow me on BLOGLOVIN.  Google reader is going away (although I never used it) so bloglovin is taking its place.  I've joined and started reading my blog feed there and let me tell you, it's awesome!  So, go and follow me there.  It's super simple to just transfer all the blogs you're following from blogger to bloglovin.

Now onto the good stuff - today I'm linking up with Shannon from Life After I Dew for So What! Wednesday.  Here's what I have to say so what to this week.....

~ So what - if it snowed yesterday, I mean, it's on March, spring today to be exact.  I'm over it!

~ So what - if since buying my new eye shadow palette I'm a bit obsessed and ordered a few new colors from MK to try out.

~ So what - if my husband and I have already started Christmas shopping for Olivia.  We got some really good deals on things we wanted to get her, we couldn’t pass them up.  This is the first time I've ever, ever started Christmas shopping this early - well, early at all!

~ So what - if all said Christmas presents are currently on the floor of my bedroom closet.  They're taking up so much space and I need to move them downstairs but haven’t gotten around to it.

~ So what - if my family has been eating fruit salad like crazy these past 2 weeks.  We have spent so much money (and time) making it but it's so delicious, healthy and 0 points!

~ So what - if I joined Weight Watchers almost 2 weeks ago.  I was struggling with tracking calories and felt like I needed a bit more structure.  I'm happy with the program so far....and my 4.2lb weight loss during week 1.

That's all I have to say So What to this week.  Head over to Shannon's blog and link up too!