Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Value of Friendship?

I had this friend, we'll call her Jane.
 
We'd been friends for a long time.  7 years to be exact.
We'd been there for each other through so many life changes, career changes, college major changes.
My marriage and the birth of Olivia.
The end of her long 13 year relationship.
Her mothers cancer and fathers drinking problem.
My Grandmothers death.
My father in laws death.
Moving back in with our parents.  Her starting a new relationship.
Relationship problems.  Family dynamic changes.
 
The list goes on and on and on.  Seriously.  I could go on for days.
 
But, one day, in November 2011, I guess she saw fit to end our friendship. 
 
Her way of doing that?  Pressing the "delete friend" button on Facebook.
 
After all these years and life changes and tears and laughs and coffee dates and shopping trips and babies born and weddings... that was her answer. 
Delete.
 
When I realized that Jane was no longer my Facebook "friend" I thought there had to be some mistake. 
I messaged her, called her, texted her numerous times. 
I called her boyfriend to try to get some answers and finally got some info. 
She was upset with me. 
Why you ask?  I have NO idea.
I still don't know why.
 
I finally got a text response from her in December and was told that she was
busy with mid-terms and would contact me after the studying died down. 
 
I've never heard from her again. 
 
I'm at a crossroads now.  
I don't know whether to keep pushing the envelope and trying to contact her or just let it be. 
 
A part of me is upset with her too. 
Why didn't she value our friendship enough to CALL me and TALK to me
and let me know that she was upset about something? 
 
How does an 7 year friendship go down the drain just like that?  Just by the click of a button. 
 
Now, I'm hurt. 
At first I was angry that I wasn't approached. 
Now, I feel like my friend died.  I feel like I never got to say good bye. 
 
 
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6 comments:

Alyssa said...

I am so sorry that happened to you! It makes you wonder what goes through that person's mind and why they do the things they do. I would be angry and hurt too! Anyone would be!

Sara @ Seeing Purple Stars said...

wow, that's awful! so sorry this happened to you! :(

Callie Nicole said...

I'm sorry to hear that Laura - so sad! Friends tend to pass in and out of your life, but it hurts when they've been more "in" than "out". :-/

Tatiana said...

Oh girl, my heart goes out to you. I've been there with one of my best friends who was supposed to be my MOH and didn't show up at my wedding. It hurt a lot, and it really ruined our friendship. I hope you can at least find out what happened, bc that's the only thing that will give you closure.

Kendra said...

Wow! I would be hurt by that too. I'm so sorry! Losing a friend is never desired.

Janna Renee said...

You poor thing! I went through something EXTREMELY similar, and I let it be. Eventually my girlfriend messaged me and apologized TO ME! Just don't shut her out and if you are open, she will probably call you when she realizes that she does need you in her life. If not- then you don't need her! Hope it works out either way!